The Dying Swan
by thebarefootflapper
Summary: Lavinia Swire – The white swan to Mary Crawley's black.


"_The final act... Your final dance. You tasted your dream, touched it, only to have it crushed. Your heart is broken, wounded. Your life force fading. The blood drips. The Black Swan stole your love. There's only one way to end the pain. You're not fearful, but filled with acceptance..." _  
><strong><em>Thomas Leroy – Black Swan <em>**

_**-xxx-**  
><em>

_It's her thirteenth birthday when her father takes her to the ballet for the first time. At first, she's unsure what to expect, unsure as to whether or not she's going to understand what's happening, but she does and she completely falls in love. She's captivated by it all and left in despair at Odette's tragic fate. She subtly wipes the tears from her face and her father gives her gloved hand a gentle squeeze as they walk the streets of London. _

_ "So, did you enjoy it?" _

_ "Yes," she nods. "Very much."_

_ "Then why the tears?"_

_ "Because it was sad. I just don't understand why she had to die though."_

_ Her father smiles. "Because Siegfried didn't stay faithful to her like he promised. He chose Odile. It was quite by accident, but he gave his heart to her nonetheless, and Odette needed his love to break Rothbart's curse."_

_ Lavinia sighs. "But... could she just have remained a swan? Did she really have to kill herself?" _

_ "But she couldn't live without Siegfried, and she believed that a life without him wasn't worth having. The prince, though, resigned himself to the same fate. He loved Odette with all his heart, but, in the end, it was his mistake that led him to blame himself. He sacrifices any chance of future happiness by jumping into the lake with her." Reggie Swire adores his daughter's outlook on the world – romantic to the point of naivety. But she's young, and the time will come when she learns that not everything is always the way it is in novels. He hopes to God she gets her fairytale ending one day, just as every father wishes for his little girl but, at the same time, he doesn't believe that any man could ever deserve her. "Oh my dear," he says. "There's plenty of time before you have to start worrying about finding your prince."_

_ "But... What if he runs off with the black swan?"_

_ "Then he is a fool and I suspect blind also," he laughs. "Now, my darling cygnet, what do you say we head off home and see if there's any of that cake left?" _

_ Lavinia thinks that's an excellent idea._

_**-xxx-**_

It's this memory that, years later, she lies awake thinking about. She toys with the thin band on her finger in the knowledge that, in just a few more days, another will sit beside it. She remembers the day he asked her to marry him, that bittersweet moment as they'd walked along the banks of the Serpentine lake in Hyde Park on the night before he'd left to rejoin the war in France. It was a promise, whispered in the words of young lovers, to remain faithful, for him to keep fighting, and to come home to her. He'd promised that, when the time was right, he'd take her to Yorkshire and to the lands that they would one day rule over as Earl and Countess. It's her own personal fairytale.

But of course, every literary heroine has to face her obstacles, and Lavinia's had her fair share of those – but there's always one that seems to come back to haunt her.

Lavinia remembers the first time she came to Downton, the first time she saw her. She stands there, a picture of nobility - a true English rose. So this, she realises, is Lady Mary Crawley. Lavinia's always known that there is some deep, spiritual bond between her and Matthew. It's evident from the way that he talks about her that he cares for her a great deal. She's seen it for a long time now, but now her suspicions have been confirmed at last. He loves Mary, and he always has done. That's not to say that Matthew's feelings for her aren't genuine, they are – It's just... well, it's just a different kind of love.

_**Two hours earlier...**_

She stands there at the top of the stairs, watching them. They're oblivious to her presence, naturally, but from her vantage point she can see absolutely everything. It's in that moment she feels like Odette from the ballet she adored as a child, watching as her prince dances with Odile, who has been pushed into Siegfried's arms by the venomous Von Rothbart. Lavinia doesn't resent Mary, far from it in fact - a part of her thinks that, maybe, there is an element of the white swan in her too, almost as though Mary is under Carlisle's curse. She'll never know for certain though.

Lavinia knows what is coming next, but it does nothing to soften the blow. She feels her heart shatter into a thousand tiny fragments, her soul utterly crushed as her prince succumbs at last to his lust for Odile. Despite her anguish and her heartbreak, she composes herself and calmly makes her presence known...

_**-xxx-**_

So it's as she lies there in this unfamiliar bed that she realises what she must do. She knows she has it in her heart to forgive Matthew, and she knows she has to give him his chance to be happy. They're so right for one another, he and Mary and, come tomorrow, she'll tell him so...

It's the final act of the dying swan.


End file.
